Jumpin' Jack Nash

NIMBY

Haven’t written in a while, but it hasn’t been for lack of material.  Sorry for holding out.

I’m inspired tonight by the idea of NOT IN MY BACK YARD, also known as NIMBY.  This is a prevalent in human psychology.  The gist of this notion is : “i don’t give a shit what you do, as long as it’s not in my back yard.”

Back yard, in this analogy can extend to one’s property, one’s neighborhood, one’s city, one’s state.  After 9/11, one might say this perspective includes a nation.  The point being, you ACCEPT whatever is happening outside of your scope SO LONG AS IT DOESN’T EFFECT YOUR SCOPE.

At the onset of the INTERNET, there were grandiose predictions about the potential of the internet for human rights, international politics, interpersonal understanding, etc.  And, indeed, the internet facilitates connections between people in virtually all corners of the world.  However, I wonder if the promise of the internet has yet/will ever become a reality.

I would argue that it hasn’t yet.  This is the INFORMATION AGE.  Not only can I look up any piece of “trivia” information in a matter of seconds, I can also access up-to-the-minute information about friends and family at any given moment.  To wit, “Oh, my friend BOB is at a concert in Manhattan tonight.  I haven’t heard of that band, I’ll listen to their most popular songs on Last.fm.”

There is an important motivator in this chain of thought, particularly the desire to know more deeply about the activities of my friend. 

There is also an import omission…i dont give a fuck about  the millions of people who won’t eat tonight or who dont have running water or the women being raped and sold into sexual slavery.  This is the basis for my rant, and my concern about the internet.  NIMBY is strong in this case and in the majority of the decision we continue to make, myself included,

Can the internet foster a more worldly perspective?  Will it?  What incentive is there to sponsor such a change? 

If anything, the internet provides too many distractions to be effective as a motivator.

Let’s hope Beyonce hides some of worldly perspective in her next video.  I’ll definitely be watching that.

-p

Towel?

I’m a simple man, but one thing really pisses me off; pardon me while I rant.

Hand dryers? Huh? Who thought this was a good idea?

“Hey, instead of getting your hands dry immediately with a biodegradable paper towel, why don’t you put them under this lukewarm breeze for a 5 minutes.

And we’ll put some diagrams on the top that make it easy to understand that you should rub your wet, cold hands together.”

Jesus Harold Christ.

Luckily, one person gets it. You may know him as the vaguely European dude who sells vacuum cleaners. DYSON. He created the finest bathroom addition since water. It’s called the DYSON AIRBLADE. If you don’t know, now you know. Here’s the deal, you stick your hands into what looks like a half pipe made of space ship plastic. You pull them slowly upward for less then 10 seconds. And your hands are actually FUCKING DRY!!!!! Is that too much to ask hand dryer makers?

This Dyson guys (whose stock sky rocketed in my book) takes a lunch break from making vacuums and outdoes every hand dryer manufacturer for the last century.

Dyson? Badass? Close. But he’s no Jason Giambi, whose mustache has single handedly reignited my passion for facial hair. Sweet lord, that is a sweet stache.

Holla!

-p

Who is paying these people?

Can someone please tell Hollywood casting directors to pull their heads out of their asses?

 Let me back up.  A few months ago, a comic-book based movie was released.  It was called Ghost Rider, and it starred Nicholas Cage (who’s real name is Coppola, and who only has an acting career because of his uncle Frankie).

 I’m not a comic book nut.  In fact, I think comic books are (and always have been) for dorks.  However, comic books and graphic novels have translated well to film.  Unfortunately, movie studios see this success and try to recreate it.  Ghost Rider was one of those efforts.

NICK CAGE?!  Who the hell signed off on that!?  How many people nodded their head when it was proposed: “hey lets make a movie about a badass motorcycle riding ghost with a flaming head.  he’s gonna weild a chain, and he will attract beautiful women.  Who, of all the talent in Hollywood, is perfect for this role?  Nick Cage.”

Jesus creeping god, who is paying these people?  How deluded are they and how big is their budget?

 Deep breath.

 On the same note, a major film studio is releasing Iron Man this summer.  For the role of super-hero they chose……..Robert Downey Jr.   What the FUCK!!!!!!  Robert Downey Jr plays a good “smart ass intellectual” or “drug addled genius (stretch)”, but SUPERHERO?   Sure.  Pay him 20 million.  Print the poster with a recognizable name and some flashy computer animation.  Terrible.

 -nash

Pitchers love facial hair

Why is it that seemingly every pitcher in Major League Baseball has facial hair? Is there some secret code of pitchers?

What’s more, there seems to be a direct relationship between the calibre of the pitcher and the audacity of facial hair. Anyone remember Rollie Fingers? As I recall, he was a nasty lefty with an even nastier handle-bar style moustache. Check it.

http://sports.blogue.canoe.com/mediam/SPO-RollieFingers%5B2%5D.jpg

Rollie’s teammate, Dennis “the Eck” Eckersley was a nasty submarine-style closer. He was also a brave pioneer of the “porn stache” look. Brawny and bushy

http://www.usretroleague.com/03ab9f70.jpg

These days, the pitchers look less like badasses and more like members of Anthrax. For instance, half of the White Sox staff has the same terrible goatee. And one of them, Bobby Jenks saw fit to dye his blonde. He is, of course, the closer and has the fastest fast ball (note the calibel/ audacity parallel). The other’s name is Boone Logan.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/photo?slug=b35d0f3ded2fd352c06ccdbff140e1f6-getty-80549506jd030_minneosta_twi&prov=getty 

Also forthcoming, theory as to the origins of this terrible phenomena.

-pg

What happened to Sauce Stuffed Freschetta?

I’m not a complicated person.  I’m pretty easy to please, and I’m loyal to good products and good companies.  In the early 00’s, Freschetta released a “Sauce Stuffed” frozen pizza with sauce inside of the crust.  This was, without question, the best frozen pizza (and the best pre-made food of any sort for that matter) I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating.  In 2006-2007, they discontinued the pizza.

What would drive a company like Freschetta, a leader in frozen pizza, to discontinue its budding star?  If you research Freschetta’s sauce stuffed pizza, you will come across several other blogs and review sites that raved about the pizza, and you will find those that lament its loss.

I’ve emailed freschetta about this, to no avail.  But this is not an isolated incident in the food industry.  Taco Bell is notorious for doing the same with its limited batches of deliciousness (like the double decker).

Can anyone help me in my search?  Anyone want to share in my longing for Sauce-Stuffed?

-p 

In the news

So today, in the news, I’m told that Russia has “elected a new President”.  I find this to be laughable, at best.

Who are the Russians trying to fool?  WE know that their political process is a joke.  I hope the RUSSIANS know their political process is a joke.  Does Putin expect us to say “oh look, Putin anointed a new ‘reform-minded’ president.  Russia is really cleaning up its act.”  OK.  I believe it.

If you haven’t seen them already, check out these beefcake shots of Putin fishing.  Believe me, if he didn’t want these to be public, they wouldn’t be.  He’s been known to murder journalists en masse.

http://abcnews.go.com/International/popup?id=3476950&contentIndex=1&page=3

But then again, who cares about the Russians.  Unless they are pretty models or tennis players.

-nash